How do I become more present for my children?
It’s definitely not always easy for me to be present for my children.
My mind is inundated with information from all directions. I am coping with my own emotional issues. And sadly, my body is sometimes physically tied down by my smart-phone. Yet, my children need my presence. They yearn for it.
So despite all these obstacles how do I become more present for my children?
By doing some inner work on a daily basis.
The bedrock of my inner work is mediating daily for 10 - 20 minutes. Meditation has enabled me to gain a greater awareness of myself and those around me. It has allowed me reduce the clutter in my life and as a result, be more present for my children.
Prior to mediating, I would have been frustrated when my children experience an emotional rollercoaster. Old me, would have tried to nip the situation in the bud as fast as possible without being aware of the long-term consequences of my actions (e.g., severing my relationship with them).
New me, has begun to understand the importance of being present for my children as they experience and go through the whole spectrum of emotions.
I have learned that I can only be present if I put aside my mundane tasks or any physical constraints, to connect with them on a deeper level.
So what does being present enable me to do?
When I am present, I can quietly stand by their side, hold their hand and hug them as they cope with their emotions.
When I am present, I can truly accept where my children are in life and not push them beyond their limits.
Being present for my children tells them that I care about them, understand them and accept them wholeheartedly for who they are.
I honestly believe that no amount of toys or family vacations could ever replace the gift of presence.
My mind is inundated with information from all directions. I am coping with my own emotional issues. And sadly, my body is sometimes physically tied down by my smart-phone. Yet, my children need my presence. They yearn for it.
So despite all these obstacles how do I become more present for my children?
By doing some inner work on a daily basis.
The bedrock of my inner work is mediating daily for 10 - 20 minutes. Meditation has enabled me to gain a greater awareness of myself and those around me. It has allowed me reduce the clutter in my life and as a result, be more present for my children.
Prior to mediating, I would have been frustrated when my children experience an emotional rollercoaster. Old me, would have tried to nip the situation in the bud as fast as possible without being aware of the long-term consequences of my actions (e.g., severing my relationship with them).
New me, has begun to understand the importance of being present for my children as they experience and go through the whole spectrum of emotions.
I have learned that I can only be present if I put aside my mundane tasks or any physical constraints, to connect with them on a deeper level.
So what does being present enable me to do?
When I am present, I can quietly stand by their side, hold their hand and hug them as they cope with their emotions.
When I am present, I can truly accept where my children are in life and not push them beyond their limits.
When I am present, I can truly notice the contours in my children's faces, as they make sense of the world around them. Only then can I truly be aware of a dimple revealing itself on my child's cheek as an expression of true happiness or my child's slumped shoulders as an indication of sadness and sorrow.
When I am present, I can lend a listening ear. No matter how illogical my children's fears or anxieties may seem, they are visceral and real to them. My greatest contribution, in this case, would be to simply be present without passing any judgment or imposing my views on to them.
I honestly believe that no amount of toys or family vacations could ever replace the gift of presence.
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