Whole - Brain Child: Introduction
I just started reading the book, The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, which was highly recommended by some of my fellow friends.
The key points from the introduction of the book are:
- to not only survive our parenting journey but also to have our children grow and thrive. What is thriving? The authors point out that thriving is when our children are able to enjoy meaningful relationships, when they are able to care and show compassion to others, when they do well academically, work hard, are responsible and finally feel good about who they are.
- to not only survive our parenting journey but also to have our children grow and thrive. What is thriving? The authors point out that thriving is when our children are able to enjoy meaningful relationships, when they are able to care and show compassion to others, when they do well academically, work hard, are responsible and finally feel good about who they are.
The authors state that it’s importsnt to ask ourselves, “What do I really want for my children?”
I want my children to be authentic - true to themselves and follow their hearts desires and not try to follow a path in life for someone else’s sake and not try to people please. I want my children be mentally and physically healthy.
I want them to be respectful of themselves and others.
I want them to know that they are capable of achieving their purpose in life.
I want them to have the wisdom to be in touch with their inner compass.
I want my children to be independent, resourceful, resilient and self relient.
I want them to live a meaningful, spiritual and purposeful life and to contribute to society.
I want them to have meaningful and healthy relationships with others and to be loving caring, compassionate, giving and understanding.
I want them to have meaningful and healthy relationships with others and to be loving caring, compassionate, giving and understanding.
The next questions to ask is:
How much time do I spend cultivating these qualities in my children and how do I cultivate such qualities?
I found the following quote comforting and profound. “The moment you are just trying to survive are actually opportunities to help your child thrive.” What does this mean?
If my children are fighting with each other, instead of just sending them to the room, I could take this opportunity to teach them how to be reflective listeners, how to respect their siblings space and requests, how to use their words to express themselves and how to demonstrate compassion and forgiveness.
One reflective question that I asked myself while reading the above quote is since I am my children’s primary and most important teacher, am I demonstrating skills of compassion, empathetic listening skills, forgiveness, compromise in my interactions with my partner, family members, friends and community?
The authors say that sometime separating your kids when they are quarreling is the best solution. Yet, usually we can do better than just end the conflict. “We can transform the experience into one that not only develops not only each child’s brain but also her relationship skills and her character.”
The “survive and thrive method” means that I don’t have to carve out special time to teach my children life skills. I can simply use all the interactions I share with them to demonstrate what it means to be responsible, caring, compassionate and resilient beings.
The authors also talk about how as children develop, their brain “mirrors their parents brain.” When I read this the first thought that came to mind was how my daily meditation practice has had a calming effect on myself and in turn has positive rippling effect on my children’s development. In fact, “as parents become more aware and emotionally healthy, their children reap the rewards and move toward health as well.”
“Integrating and cultivating your own brain is one of the most loving and generous gifts you can give your children.״ So it’s not trips to Disney land or the latest gizmos and gadgets, it’s our own personal development that is the best gift we could give our children. This obviously requires us to go beyond our comfort zone and move from our habitual ways. I’m interested to read on and see how the authors suggest we put this to practice.
I found the following quote comforting and profound. “The moment you are just trying to survive are actually opportunities to help your child thrive.” What does this mean?
If my children are fighting with each other, instead of just sending them to the room, I could take this opportunity to teach them how to be reflective listeners, how to respect their siblings space and requests, how to use their words to express themselves and how to demonstrate compassion and forgiveness.
One reflective question that I asked myself while reading the above quote is since I am my children’s primary and most important teacher, am I demonstrating skills of compassion, empathetic listening skills, forgiveness, compromise in my interactions with my partner, family members, friends and community?
The authors say that sometime separating your kids when they are quarreling is the best solution. Yet, usually we can do better than just end the conflict. “We can transform the experience into one that not only develops not only each child’s brain but also her relationship skills and her character.”
The “survive and thrive method” means that I don’t have to carve out special time to teach my children life skills. I can simply use all the interactions I share with them to demonstrate what it means to be responsible, caring, compassionate and resilient beings.
The authors also talk about how as children develop, their brain “mirrors their parents brain.” When I read this the first thought that came to mind was how my daily meditation practice has had a calming effect on myself and in turn has positive rippling effect on my children’s development. In fact, “as parents become more aware and emotionally healthy, their children reap the rewards and move toward health as well.”
“Integrating and cultivating your own brain is one of the most loving and generous gifts you can give your children.״ So it’s not trips to Disney land or the latest gizmos and gadgets, it’s our own personal development that is the best gift we could give our children. This obviously requires us to go beyond our comfort zone and move from our habitual ways. I’m interested to read on and see how the authors suggest we put this to practice.
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