What does it mean when someone is angry?
I recently watched an interview given by Cecilia Hilkey from Happily Family.
She asked Dr. Jason C. Lee to explain why people get angry.
Dr. Lee provided a very insightful and clear explanation.
He said that typically we think that all emotions are valid to express, “all, except for anger.”
He went on to explain that all emotions are purposeful and provide real time insights.
For every emotion there is a universal trigger and a universal response. For instance, the universal trigger for anxiety is harm. We will avoid being harmed at all costs. Our universal response for anxiety includes: having awareness, change in body (e.g., experiencing fight, flight or freeze), and change in motivation. After experiencing these responses, the emotion correctly decreases (anxiety subsides) because we have addressed the trigger (e.g., harm).
With respect to anger, the universal trigger = something is wrong.
In order to further clarify the purpose of anger, Dr. Lee explained how guilt and regret differ from anger.
Guilt = when something happens in the world and I caused it.
My response could be to go to the person that I hurt and apologize for my wrongdoings.
Regret = when something is wrong with the world and I can’t do anything about it.
My response could be to sit with the feeling of regret and think about what I could have done differently. Hopefully this could lead to maturity.
Anger = when something is wrong with the world and it’s not my fault. Instead, it’s your fault. It’s someone else’s responsibility to make it better and rectify the problem.
What is angers purpose?
Angers objective is to recruit or engage people to help. Anger tries to achieve this objective by creating a mutual discomfort in the people who are supposed to rectify the problem. Anger creates an unsettled feeling in other people. In fact, we are inquisitively sensitive to people that are angry. Even people that we don’t know because we naturally want life to go back to a state of calmness.
When we see someone experiencing anger, the best course of action is to ask ourselves “what can I do to help?” When people are engaged, the angry person feels better because people are genuinely helping him/her.
On the contrary, if we disengage and don’t show the angry person that we genuinely want to help them, then the anger will only escalate.
Therefore, it is important to remember that the ultimate goal of anger is to just get help and when that happens, anger starts to diffuse.
She asked Dr. Jason C. Lee to explain why people get angry.
Dr. Lee provided a very insightful and clear explanation.
He said that typically we think that all emotions are valid to express, “all, except for anger.”
He went on to explain that all emotions are purposeful and provide real time insights.
For every emotion there is a universal trigger and a universal response. For instance, the universal trigger for anxiety is harm. We will avoid being harmed at all costs. Our universal response for anxiety includes: having awareness, change in body (e.g., experiencing fight, flight or freeze), and change in motivation. After experiencing these responses, the emotion correctly decreases (anxiety subsides) because we have addressed the trigger (e.g., harm).
With respect to anger, the universal trigger = something is wrong.
In order to further clarify the purpose of anger, Dr. Lee explained how guilt and regret differ from anger.
Guilt = when something happens in the world and I caused it.
My response could be to go to the person that I hurt and apologize for my wrongdoings.
Regret = when something is wrong with the world and I can’t do anything about it.
My response could be to sit with the feeling of regret and think about what I could have done differently. Hopefully this could lead to maturity.
Anger = when something is wrong with the world and it’s not my fault. Instead, it’s your fault. It’s someone else’s responsibility to make it better and rectify the problem.
What is angers purpose?
Angers objective is to recruit or engage people to help. Anger tries to achieve this objective by creating a mutual discomfort in the people who are supposed to rectify the problem. Anger creates an unsettled feeling in other people. In fact, we are inquisitively sensitive to people that are angry. Even people that we don’t know because we naturally want life to go back to a state of calmness.
When we see someone experiencing anger, the best course of action is to ask ourselves “what can I do to help?” When people are engaged, the angry person feels better because people are genuinely helping him/her.
On the contrary, if we disengage and don’t show the angry person that we genuinely want to help them, then the anger will only escalate.
Therefore, it is important to remember that the ultimate goal of anger is to just get help and when that happens, anger starts to diffuse.
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